Well...It happened

My baby girl is gone. Ensconced in Virginia, far from home.I still can't think about it for very long without tearing up, but I will adjust, or so they tell me. At least her boyfriend Fletch is there with her. He seems to really love her and take care of her....at least he better if he knows whats good for him!!! lol I even went and got my nails done today, without my Becca, it was different I felt really lonely, even tho Chris was with me. He tries, bless his heart, but he's just not a girl. Although I really am glad I have him to accompany me, it's better than going alone. So Lee a.k.a. DH and I are readying for a mini vacation to Charleston, SC for 4 days. We're leaving Monday. We're going on a haunted harbor cruise! Wonder if I'll meet any roguish pirates out on the high seas? Nahh probably not. We also plan to do a little haunting ourselves, of the french Quarter and would love to see some of the beautiful Manor homes in the area. We'll spend some time at the beach and the aquarium, eat some really good seafood and take LOTS of great pictures. Since I found an 8 megapixel digital camera at the fair, the pictures should be awesome. Provided of course that I can learn how to use it without any kind of instruction book...not my best thing I must say. But I shall try.
     

On another tangent I want to plant a winter garden, but haven't a clue what might grow in the winter in NC.
If you have any ideas...please pas them along!!!!  Food and or  flowers, all comers welcome.
I've also been knitting and doing some crocheting. and when we return from out trip I PROMISE I will post pics of some of my art work. Till then
Please take care of yourselves and each other, in fact go hug someone you wouldn't usually hug, just because.

A New Day

Well the play was AMAZING FANTASTIC and WONDERFUL. Seriously, if it comes to a place near you, GO!!!!!! So, life should be great right now right?  I truly wish it worked that way. I do, but when youre dealing with depression it just doesn't. I feel like not only does no one understand what it feels like or how hard it is but like no one is even Trying to understand. I guess part of me knows that's not true in the strictest sense, that it's more like they (my family I mean mostly) are just tired of trying and have just given up.They don't know what to do any more than I do. I'm on meds, that only work for a while, then I build a tolerance and they quit working so we  (doc and I) raise my dosage but eventually any more would be toxic. So then the search for a new  med or combo of meds  that will work starts all over again and that process can take from a month to a year, with my emotions in an absolute uproar till the magic bullet is once again discovered. Meanwhile, because of all the other meds I have to take for my pain etc. I am so tired all the time most days I don't have the energy to get out of bed. and right now I just feel like my whole life is a waste of time , I am useless to anyone, including myself, I don't say that to look for sympathy, which is I'm sure what most people will think, I say that because as objectively as I can look at my own life it is true. I go nowhere, do nothing have no goals, since I couldn't possibly meet them anyway, see no friends, create nothing, I lay on the bed and watch TV, yipee!!!!!! I'm so sick of my own company I could scream, and I am the only one that even cares. The doctors won't do anything to help, they say they can't, I know my family can do nothing to help, I can't help feeling how I do and I really have to wonder if it's  worth it anymore. For any of us. If it wouldn't be kinder to just get it over with so they could just grieve then get on with their lives, without having to worry about taking care of me or having to take me into consideration. I must say it really sucks to realize about yourself, that you are entirely in the minus column of your family and friends lives. Now I know you are probably thinking I'm just being overly dramatic, but I'm really not it is really the way I think, the way I feel...how much of it is the depression, that I don't know, but the feelings are very real for me, real and inescapable. OK so now that I've depressed you too LOL  I shall bid you a fond adieu til next we meet. Take care and be good to each other

Tomorrow

I can't wait for tomorrow!! DH and I are going to see Mary Poppins tomorrow night at the Belk theater, a Really nice local venue. So now I'm trying to figure out what to wear.  A dress or skirt and blouse I guess.  

I am SOOOOOO ready for Fall to be here, along with it's cooler weather and beautiful colors, living on the East coast it's still a treat for my eyes every year when the leaves turn, I even love the way they crinkle under your feet!  California, just doesn't do that I'm afraid. Don't get me wrong, I still love Cal. I always will but it is awfully pretty here.SO hopefully in the next day or two I'll get the pics of my first project posted. It's a little Owl pin I made for Fall. I'm just waiting for DH to take the pics for me...then to show me HOW to post them LOL . OK talk to you soon!

The Weekend

      Well, I will say one thing it wasn't boring! First I found out my baby girl is moving eight hours away  in about two weeks, she got a new GREAT job which incidentally very close to where her boyfriend lives. And near his folks too but I'm just gonna miss her so darn much. The funny thin is she has absolutely no idea how hard this is gonna be for me, she's my only daughter and my youngest . I can't seem to find the right words to say to her, to let her know how proud I am of her independence and her successes and that all the pride and happiness I feel for her does nothing to quell the terrible searing ache her moving so far away leaves in my heart.  Now I know that I have depression issues AND I know that the Dr. is mid weaning me off one medication so we can try to find something better and that none of that is helping this situation. but my family all know all of this too and Still I feel like I have to try to hide how I feel because they will ....lets just say not react well. How fair is that??  OK enough of that.                                                                                           On Saturday DH and I went to the local county fair. we saw the chickens and turkeys, pigeons and ducks, cows, horses,goats, sheep and a pig or two. We didn't go to the swimming pig races this time, been there, done that. we also saw all the handmade jams and jellies, pies, cakes, muffins and so on. They looked yummy...this fair also has a photo contest, some pics were really amazing some were OK, I think the judges MAY have needed new glasses per their choices of a few of the winners. Oh well se' la vie. The BEST thing at this fair was the wood turning group!  They had it set up so that anyone, for 8$, could step up to a lathe and "turn" a wooden pen. Which I did!!  I'll post pics of me doing so and of how it turned out just as soon as I figure out how to do so {grin} Hey I did warn y'all I knew nothing about computers. Since I'm  feeling pretty good today I'm gonna go try to do some work in my studio. I'll let you know how it goes later.  Till then

See ya, Dana

Hi! Well, today is as they say, another day. Do you ever wonder who "they" are? I do. I imagine "they" are a bunch of smart people locked in a small dark room for hours on end, being forced to decide all the things we "ordinary" people can't be allowed or trusted to decide for ourselves, they must also create adages and cute quips and a million other things, so there must be a whole lot of them.  The reason I think they're locked in is, because no matter how many people you know, you never meet one!  lol. 
Anyway on my agenda for today is to clean up my studio and find homes for a bunch of new stuff I've gotten recently. I also have4 projects already started, but not finished, so time permitting I should work on one or two of those.  It's also my night to make dinner,  and I have absolutely NO idea what to make...maybe I'll go with the leftover chili my son made last night!! 

The projects I have going right now include, a set of greeting cards for my adopted daughter ,

a framed scrapbook page for a friend who visited from California recently, a canvas with a 3-D painting and leafing process being applied, a baby sweater I'm knitting, and a knitting in the round experiment I started. Maybe once I get the studio all nice and clean, I'll try to post a couple of pics of my workspace.  

Ok so that's my day, thus far but before I go I have a question for you ........

what would YOU like to see on this blog?

HELLO

Ok, So here's the deal, I know almost Nothing about computer's and have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it anyway, or at least try to do it anyway. So I'm a wife, Mom, friend, daughter, sister, aunt and ersatz artist, I'm also technically disabled (Not that my country cares about that by way of disability payments to which they said a resounding NO) I try to do many different kinds of art including,but not limited to, knitting, drawing painting, paper crafts, stained glass, mosaics and sewing. Also I like up-cycling crafts. I love to read, watch movies go to craft fairs and carnivals, museums of all kinds and many other activities enjoyed by other "normal" people. Some people think I'm pretty funny, my kids DO NOT think so.I also like to write, poetry mostly but also some very short stories. OK SO what am I gonna blog about? I have NO idea....yet. But we'll figure it out,  together. If there is anything you want to hear about leave me a comment, and I'll try. Please keep it clean tho' ok? Alright I guess that's enough for now ya'll soon